


smile, smile, happy, happy, smile

by pxstelhansen



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I APOLOGIZE, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Langst, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), faking a smile, i feel kind of bad about this but y'know, klance, klangst, lance is depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxstelhansen/pseuds/pxstelhansen
Summary: "baby, its easy to fake a smile, when you've been doing it for a while."in which; lance fakes his happiness and paints on his smile





	smile, smile, happy, happy, smile

another day, another thing to smile about. everyday is good, everyday is smile, smile, happy, happy, smile. his life isn't bad. lance has a family he loves, and a group of friends that are solid as bedrock. save for the time pidge decided that shiro was a clone, and he didn't talk to them for two days.

another day, another thing to cry about. everyday is bland, everyday is smile, smile, happy, happy, cry. lance has problems deep down that no one knows about. he believes he isn't good enough for anyone, and that his friends deserve better. he believes that at this point he is just trying to convince himself that keith might someday return his feelings. and yet, he smiles.

another day, another thing to scream about. everyday is frustrating, everyday is smile, smile, happy, angry, cry. lance spoke to his father on the phone today. lance believes everything his father tells him, because lance trusts his parents more than anyone in the world. he believes that he will never amount to anything if he stays on the path he is on. he screams when hunk refuses to go away like lance told him. he cries when hunk finally leaves. but puts on his mask and smiles anyway.

another day, another thing to obsess about. everyday is crazy, everyday is smile, smile, worry, angry, cry. someone found some old poetry he did from freshman year about keith. the poetry was about how lance didn't want to fall for the violet eyed boy down the hall. someone left the pages of writing for keith to see. lance screams and loses his voice as his breath is knocked out of him when pidge runs to lances room with a glass of water and pills. he almost passes out when the blood in his throat from holding back tears and screaming gets too thick. he sits with pidge until two in the morning when he finally falls asleep, waking up in his bed with pidge sleeping on the floor beside him in a makeshift bed made of blankets and pillows. that day, even though he felt weak and stressed, he put on false confidence and smiled at everyone.

another day, another thing to fight about. everyday is terrible, everyday is smile, scream, worry, angry, cry. keith found the poetry today. he talked to lance to see if he still feels that way. he doesn't want to answer for the sake of their friendship, but he does. he says yes and tells keith everything he's been holding back and wanting to say for three years. he tells him how he's been practicing his smile since he was fourteen to make it seem more real. when keith doesn't say anything, lance gets the idea and runs back to his dorm and punches a wall. he was so numb, he just wanted to feel something. he punched the wall until he saw drops of red falling onto the carpet and heard hunks nearly muted scream as he got lost in his own head. he fell to his knees as tears streamed down his face. but, when hunk left and came back with allura, lance pretended to be fine - even though she knew he wasn't - and he smiled.

another day, another thing to smile about. everyday is good, everyday is smile, smile, happy, happy, smile. whenever someone asks lance how he's doing he says he's fine, lying through his teeth and smiling. every time he sees keith, he shoots him a friendly smile - the kind two people who used to be friends would share - and ignores the crushing pain in his heart and the searing heat in his chest. when he speaks to his father on the phone he tells him he finally met a nice girl (a lie) and that he is thinking of proposing soon (also a lie), smiling at his fathers approval, suppressing his thoughts of keith and pushing them away, leaving them for another day. lance is happy. he is okay. he's great. he loves his friends. he loves life. but... he hates himself. he hates his stupid smile. he is not happy. he is not okay. he's terrible. he loves his friends, but feels like he is not good enough for them. but still, he smiles and lets everyone see the golden, happy, smiling boy he's supposed to be.


End file.
